The 'L' Word

We’re not telling enough people that they’re losers & it really shows in the lack of accountability in society today. In the past I would have refrained from using such a harsh & judgmental word to describe anyone & would have refrained from chastising anyone’s poor behaviour with such a cruel descriptor. I would have refrained because it’s unkind. Because it’s not nice. Because it holds a lot of diminishing power. I would have refrained because I myself am not perfect, therefore who am I to judge another. I would have instead offered compassion, I would have approached with empathy, because we all struggle, we’re all doing our best & we all have things that we’re hurting from that we don’t necessarily talk about & it’s sometimes those inner pains that cause us to react in hurtful ways towards other people.

But there is a very big gap between behaviour that sometimes may hurt another & is forgivable behaviour based on accountability, as opposed to patterns of behaviour which are repeated, disrespectful, dishonest, manipulative & harmful with a lack of accountability.

One is acceptable. The other is unacceptable & inexcusable.
It’s in this latter form of unacceptable behaviour that we may allow ourselves the grace to make use of this powerful & yet stigmatized expression as a boundary to separate ourselves from people who display repeated patterns of poor or harmful behaviour.

Loser. This person is a loser.

We need instead to extend the kindness to ourselves & affirm our own personal code of ethics & we mustn't bend to it:

I will not entertain losers in my orbit.
I will not refrain from personally identifying a loser within my orbit.
I will not refrain from calling out a loser within my field of orbit.

Bending for the wrong reasons breaks more than just bones, it breaks spirit & it’s broken the fabric of decent society.
Call a spade a spade & call it a duck if it quacks.

But if it’s dishonest & deceitful, it’s a loser
If it’s cruel & unkind, it’s a loser.
If it’s harmful & abusive, it’s a loser.
If it’s a user, it’s a loser.
If it gaslights, it’s a loser.
If it cheats, it’s a loser.
If it steals, it’s a loser.
If it defrauds, it’s a loser.
If it exploits, it’s a loser.
If it lies, it’s a loser.
If it sexually harasses, it’s a loser.
If it takes advantage of, it’s a loser.
If it’s disingenuous, it’s a loser.
If it breadcrumbs, it’s a loser.
If it lacks accountability, it’s definitely a loser.

Once you look around with a clearer perspective you realize there’s a hell of a lot of losers out there, the world seems full of them.
May we have the grace to call a loser a loser, so they may either take a good, hard look at themselves & shape up, or otherwise ship out & form their own colony of self-destructive losers somewhere in the dark corners of the universe where no one hears them quack.

Dee