Live. Laugh. Love - How Not to be a Can't

I’ve been around my fair share of Can’ts throughout my life, enough to give me a good insight into how surrounding yourself with the Can’ts can drag you down & keep you stuck in the belly depression.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the ‘depression’ I have experienced isn’t clinical, but situational; meaning that I am in a depressed state of mood in reaction to an event/situation/argument etc. Therefore, I would say that I am not suffering from depression as much as I am suffering from the effects of being surrounded by absolute Can’ts.

What is a Can’t, Dee? What do you mean?

You know them, we all know them. They’re the naysayers, the negative Nancys. They turn everything into a criticism & everything into an argument. They pick, pick, pick & point, point, point.

Who do you think you are?
Who does she think she is??
Oh yeah… she thinks she’s SOMEONE.
She’s NO one. Nothing.
She’s never been anything.
She’s stupid. She’s useless.
She’s dumb. She’s selfish.
She’s a joke.
Look at how ugly she is.
Look at how stupid she is.
Look at how embarrassing she is.
She’s always been a loser.
She thinks she can go there?
She thinks she can do that?
She thinks she can make something of herself??
Ha, she can’t.
She’s a loser.
She’s always been a loser.

Verbatim, you’ll hear this from the mouths of the Can’ts in your life. And I’ve heard it plenty. When does it end, Dee?

It doesn’t. Well, it may end if you bow down to their negativity & believe in the lies the Can’ts tell you. That you’re stupid. That you’re ugly. That you’ll never amount to anything. They may stop then because they got what they wanted. They would’ve won, you see. They don’t want anyone to succeed in life, ESPECIALLY not those nearest & 'dearest' to them.

They don’t want you to OUTSHINE them. In fact, they don’t want you to shine at all. It hurts their eyes to see your light. Or to watch as others see the light within you.

So, they throw shade on your light & try to recruit others around,

“See, she is not light, she is the darkness, just like I said she was. See, I told you. See, I TOLD YOU!!”.

Instead of tending to their own light to enable it to expand & to grow, they spend their days casting shade on the light of others, because they don’t believe that they too can shine. In fact, they truly believe that they can’t.

That’s what makes them the Can’ts. The miserable Can’ts that drag the rest of society down. Casting shade on even the tallest of poppies, to stifle their growth. So, they too, can’t grow.

Can’t succeed.
Can’t achieve.
Can’t strive.
Can’t reach for the stars.
Can’t live. Can’t laugh. Can’t love.

They want you to 'can’t'. Can’t you see? Because if you can & they can’t, then they will feel they have failed. But they don’t realize that some else’s success is certainly not their own failure.

And that someone else’s failure certainly is not their own success. Or is it? I don’t know because I am not a Can’t. I cannot tell you what goes on in the hearts & minds of the Can’ts. I only know what goes on in my own heart & my own mind. And I know that having been surrounded by Can’ts for my entire life has left me in slumps of such a depressed state that I’ve struggled to keep my head above water for long enough to enjoy some level of a peaceful existence for longer than a minute.

What I do know is that I have no idea how to fly a helicopter. And I also know that I’ve no idea how to keep my head above water when I’m surrounded by Can’ts.

So, I’m definitely not going to commandeer a helicopter anytime soon. Therefore, it only makes sense that I should stay away from Can’ts as well. And all I ask is that the Can’ts stay away from me, as well.
So mote it be.

Dee

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